he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
