enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
