I skipped work to stalk him.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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