I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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