that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
