Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
