He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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