It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
