everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
