So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
