My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
