I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Even my vagina gasped.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
my liver is dry heaving
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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