M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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