My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
BRING THE BAGELS
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