So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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