He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
A+ Viking dick
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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