why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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