you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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