i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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