Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
