I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
