she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
