addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
