Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
How does one acquire holy water?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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