he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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