So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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