He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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