Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
