All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
