I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
