He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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