After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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