I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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