Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
