Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
