K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
