I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
