The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
