moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
