I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
