no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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