There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
