Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
