im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
