So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
