You can't motorboat a personality
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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