Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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