New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
