why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
