To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
