can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
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