so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
