Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Randomize
