We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
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